Knowing at 50

“In Buddhism, the term anattā (Pali) or anātman (Sanskrit) refers to the doctrine of “non-self”, that there is no unchanging, permanent self, soul or essence in living beings.” -“Anatta,” Wikipedia.

Knowing at Fifty

Everything stems from a certitude that time is running out
…You use hourglass metaphors without a hint of irony

Cleaning electric razors upset you because there’s only white stubble
…You actually choose one side of the bed over the other

Sex is a rarely-visited, exotic destination
…you buy a selection of colognes as consolation.

Women won’t look back at you when you walk past
…so dogs become a sudden and unanticipated blessing

Your attention is directed to fallen leaves
…veiny and brittle

You pick up everyone else’s trash the flotsam/jetsam of more earnest (read “younger”) people.

You’re good with your hands in your pockets
…and fondly remember of telegraphs.

Younger People indulge you, each one of their smiles a charitable gift
…and so you smile back, gratefully.

Your wife doesn’t come to you when you call for her
…but yells “WHAT??!” from the other room.

A blessing is it to learn that “you” is, after all, lie
… so so good, to die the one and only true death.

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